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Remember Who You Are

Updated: Sep 26, 2021

Spirituality is an interesting thing. Everyone has their own way of existing and interacting with the connections they have with other realms.

How far you want to dive into whatever your soul presents to you is always up to you. I find that, when I become complacent and don’t swim further down, I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. As a Starseed, I have always felt like I was meant to do something important, so not moving forward and growing feels absolutely debilitating. But sometimes, I will be thinking that I’m progressing, and I will have a dark night of the soul experience for a few days to a week. I will feel disconnected from my guides and try desperately to repair that connection.

What I recently came to find is actually so simple and the way I had the realization is one of my favorite ways my guides have communicated with me. I was meditating one day on nothing in particular besides my usual pillar of light visualization. Near the end of my session, I had a very quick image pop up of adult Simba from “The Lion King”. It was just a flash of him, I knew exactly what part of this film is was from. Granted, I did watch that movie so much as a kid that I could recite it word-for-word. I playfully laughed a little at the image my guides presented to me.

It was the scene in the movie right after Simba was shown his reflection in a pond and he was looking up as the clouds started thundering. “Huh”, I thought as I ended my meditation. I immediately grabbed my phone to go to YouTube to find that particular scene and watch it. I pulled up the video ( super giddy of course ) and started watching. It got to that magnificent scene of Mufasa appearing in the sky and speaking to Simba. The words mean more to me now as an adult than they ever did as a kid.

“You have forgotten me”

“You have forgotten who you are and so forgotten me.”

“Look inside yourself ( Simba ). You are more than what you have become.”

“Beautiful!” I thought. But why this message? I was feeling fine and happy with my mindset and journey at that time. What I didn’t know was that it was a gentle warning.

The next week was really busy at work. Too busy. I had difficulty being present because I was so focused on having too much work and not enough time to finish it. The weekend before, my husband began having medical issues again, similar to a horrible gallbladder fiasco this same time last year. My job started backpedaling on their pandemic protocols, making everyone tense again. I was also pushing promotion for this blog and podcast everywhere I could. The stress was big for me the entire week and I found difficulty simmering down once I got home. I usually walk my dog, Orion, take a shower with relaxing music, pray to my guides and deity, then meditate. Whenever I sat down to mediate now, the inner chatter was just insane. It hadn’t been like that in a very long time.

That Tuesday, a coworker asked me about a woman who had been on my team years ago. He wanted to know if her and I were friends. This woman was a monster; an absolute word-that-rhymes-with-witch. She was cruel to my elderly coworkers and despised me for standing up for people and not falling for her ass-kissing. Where I was mentally, when he asked me, was not the best. I went off. It was like the old me stepped into my body and took over. And once I was done speaking all of that negative garbage, real me stepped in and instantly felt regret. Shit-talking like that steals a lot of energy out of you and I don’t think most people realize it.

I got home that afternoon and felt just drained. I didn’t have the energy to do my normal ritual. When I feel tension, I address it. I don’t allow myself to feel lost and disconnected for very long. I decided that I needed to write words of gratitude and journal. I had gotten way off-track from my journaling routine and gratitude lists. It’s easy to do too. I stay so busy all the time that I forget or I remember just before bed and, by that time, I tell myself it’s too late. Journaling is a lot like meditating. But, where meditating can help us gain some control over our thoughts, journaling helps us sweep in the corners of those thoughts that do need our attention.

So, I lit some incense and a candle, brought out Mara Sov ( my super big amethyst cluster ), put on some relaxing music, and began writing. After writing, I drew a tarot card and pulled the Two of Pentacles. This card was so spot on and relevant, yet again, to my current mindset. Whether upright or reversed, The Two of Pentacles is all about juggling or balancing our daily priorities. It shows up usually when we are busy and are either doing a good job of balancing things, or when we are rushing and neglecting duties. The fact that I mindfully told myself that I need to get back to my journaling routine, and drew this card right after, was a clear green light to my decision.

That night, I had a strange dream. While I can usually remember some details of my dreams, they’re never really important enough for me to dissect them. This dream Tuesday night was different. I was at work and a woman who works there, that I’ve had mixed feelings about in the past because of her daily gossiping to anyone who will listen, yelled that there was an active shooter in the building. I began to run ( Just like I had a little over a year ago when someone did have a gun and I ran all the way across the parking lot. Apparently there was no ammunition in the gun and everyone had a good laugh at my Olympian-esque bolt away from the scene. ). In the dream, I realized there was no shooter and I proceeded to go inside and shout all the obscenities in the book at this particular woman who had lied about this very serious situation. And, afterwards, I felt really bad for what I said to her.

Strange dream, I thought, and it stuck with me throughout the day. I kept thinking “What is it about this dream that is so important?”

I came home, worn out again and not looking forward to an inner chatter filled meditation. That dream was too strong in my mind. So, I decided that a vitamin c epsom salt bath was in order to cleanse my mind and body of this gnarly energy I had adopted since the weekend. I ran my bath and drew a card from my Oracle deck that I use for angelic communication. I pulled a card that had been showing up a lot recently called “Akasha”, and the description says to pay attention to your dreams.

“Ok! Ok!” I said. “Let’s get to the bottom of this dream that’s been terrorizing my day.” Before getting into the bath, I made an offering of incense, candle flame, and water to my spirit allies; a practice I had learned from Aidan Wachter’s phenomenal book “Six Ways”. I asked them to remove any obstacles that are blocking my path.

I got in, lied down, and closed my eyes while listening to some relaxing solfeggio frequency music. Almost instantly, I had an answer. I had been so focused on all the negative ( or what I perceived as negative ) things going on in my life, that they were burrowing into my mindset and turning me negative too. I had been cussing again, which I don’t really do when I’m at the top of my game. I was saying things about others that was unnecessary and sometimes a bit mean. Instead of looking for the lessons in situations and rising above, I was moping and thinking of worst-case scenarios and was experiencing a lack mindset.

I had forgotten who I was.

It was all things I already knew, but I had allowed myself to forget them. I smiled. I thanked all the guides for their quick assistance. I felt great. I put on some music and danced a bit and felt so much better. I was ready to shake off all of that energetic gunk and get back to the true me.

The next day, while at work, I was feeling pretty good and lifting others up again. I did my usual pondering of what subject I should revisit to amp myself up a bit more. I decided to re-listen to the Starseed Types episodes of “The Spirit Nomad” podcast to regain that feeling of purpose and excitement. It was a successful endeavor and I was back on that horse of knowing that I’m exactly where I need to be doing exactly what I should be doing.

I began taking some notes for another episode of The Cosmic Soul podcast when I remembered something as I caught a glimpse of my left hand. A couple of months ago, when I had really began awakening to my Starseed origins, I noticed a group of three freckles had randomly appeared on my left hand. They looked very similar to Orion’s Belt. At the time, I was both intrigued with the uncanny marks but also wondering if I had premature age spots at 35 years old. After a week or so, I just kind of accepted they were there. But now, as I look at my left hand months later, I realize that the freckles have disappeared.

”Remember who you are.”

Whether they were a clear sign from the Universe that I am in fact a Starseed living out an important purpose, or temporary freckles ( Yea, I don’t think so either. ), it was a very powerful message and reminder. The Universe has my back and is certainly helping me in all that I do. But, as a being of free will, I decide what I allow to affect my heart and mind. I am loving, kind, compassionate, creative, curious, and grateful. I cannot forget that and I never will again.

Thanks, Mufasa. 😉

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